Beloved Sleep

It happens. Sometimes it's the tacos with pizza. Sometimes it's coffee a little too late in the evening. Sometimes it's the late night rice crispy treats with butterscotch morsels melted on top, cut into nice tempting squares that aren't big enough to eat just one. Sometimes it's simply life's stresses that we're not suppose to grasp so tightly. But, whatever it may be, sleep sometimes evades me. Sometimes, If I wait long enough (and be real still and quiet... shh... ) I may fall back to sleep. But, usually I'm up for awhile. So, "why not" I thought, let's do a word search on sleep in the Scriptures.

Check it out. The Scriptures say (and Scriptures do speak), "It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2 And that's beautiful. He reminds me to rest in Him, to roll all of my anxieties over onto Him. He loves me and has designed for me to be able to sleep - and don't you just love it when you get a good night's sleep! Praise the Lord. But wait, there's more. In Song of Solomon it says, "I sleep, but my heart is awake; It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "Open for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one; For my head is covered with dew, My locks with the drops of the night." Son 5:2

Well, there it is. Sometimes He wakes me up. (talk about God using the natural for supernatural purposes - butterscotch topped rice crispy treats) He wakes me up because He wants to meet with me. For many years I've pondered this portion of Scripture. The Shulamite delays and when she's fully awake realizes what she's doing, runs to the door and then He's gone. But, her great love and passion for her Beloved sends her into the streets seeking Him. This brings suffering into her life, abuse even, but that's not able to stop her quest; she must find her Beloved.

I admit that at times even when sleep evades me, my indifference to the Lord is a hazy fog that covers my mind, that sometimes doesn't lift until after I've returned to bed and awake again much later. Yet, what an opportunity. To truly see what life is about. Is He calling to me? Is He knocking? Am I aware of how in love I am, enough to quickly respond to His voice? Usually I find myself waiting - which makes absolutely no sense! I wait, until I'm fully awake (I mean spiritually). And then, there's a sense of desperation. I must hear His voice, I must go after Him. And so I pray; I cry out to my Beloved. And here's what's hitting me as so wonderful this morning. As I seek Him, He changes me into a man that is more desperate for Him. I awaken a little more to how I draw all that is good, all that means anything from Him. And He fills my life in His presence. He becomes my motivation in all my relationships, all my pursuits, all my service.

I really don't want to settle for less than a life established and settled in Him. I don't want to be a reluctant lover. I don't want to miss the opportunity to be with Him in everything. And, I am comforted to know that He knows this. He hears my prayers - He sees me seeking Him and crying out for Him from my haze of indifference. And He promises to answer that prayer.

"Lord, give me strong legs to run after You, and the maturity to come quickly when you call."

hmmm... I wonder how this will read after a few hours of sleep... because He does give his beloved sleep. Right?